Killing Relationships Since Marconi

My drive back to Northwest Indiana yesterday afternoon started out like most of the others recently.  I was trying a new route and had just turned north on State Road 213 when my phone rang.  It was our station's program director.  He's a good friend of mine -- has been since I was in college.  He fought hard for me to get this job.  He's fought hard for me to keep this job.  He's put his heart and soul into making this station a going concern.

He started the conversation by saying that I would run into some lake effect snow as I drove up.  Then he asked me about the company I used to transport my stuff when I moved back here from Seattle.  Then he told me his wife wanted a divorce.

What is it about working in radio that causes relationships to fail?  I think if you took a survey of the people who are on the air, you'll find the vast majority have a failed relationship in their past directly attributed to their job.  (Some more than one.)  

In my friend's case, distance is a factor.  His wife is more than 500 miles away.  They've probably seen each other twice since January.  They've been married just more than a year.  There is a significant age difference.  You can find multiple reasons.  But, it all comes down to being apart from someone.  They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.  But, for some, there comes a point when the fondness goes away and you just want to be together.

But there aren't that many radio jobs to be had.  You go where you can find work.  In my friend's case, the work is in an area where he grew up.  He talks with such enthusiasm about this corner of the world.  He so looked forward to bringing his wife here.  I can't opine what factor brought her to this decision.  I was in their wedding.  They visited me in Seattle just before I moved back.  I didn't see something like this coming.  

Anyway, back to radio.  The thing is, once is radio is in your blood, you can never quite shake it.  I tried.  I did the office thing for five years.  The 9-to-5.  The good benefits.  The paid holidays.  But it just became so sterile and tedious that it wore me down.  Every time I would go into a radio station to do something on behalf of work, all I wanted to do was "talk shop" with the people working there.  I wanted to know what equipment they were using.  I wanted to know their format.  I wanted to see the editing software and the automation.  It's such an awesome business, despite its volitile nature.  I wanted to be a part of it again.

Even if distance isn't a factor in a relationship, radio can kill it.  Take my shift.  I have to be at work at 3 am.  Most people are drifting into REM sleep when my first alarm goes off.  At the time others are pouring a bowl of corn flakes, I'm heating up leftover meatloaf for lunch.  I eat dinner at 3 pm and 8:30 is WAAAAAAY past my bedtime.  What kind of partner wants to be all tied up in that?  And if you're not working a Monday through Friday shift, it's even worse.  Try explaining to someone that you can only go out on Sunday and Monday nights and you have to be in by 7 pm or else you might oversleep for Tuesday's shift.  Who wants that?

I hit the exacta.  I work 150 miles away from the woman I love and get the oddball hours to boot.  

Don't get me wrong.  There are people in radio who have successful happy relationships.  Sometimes they have to find them on the second or third try, but they're happy I guess.

Maybe if it was someone else at the station that this happened to, I wouldn't be taking it so hard.  But when it happens to a truly nice guy, it just sucks.