When Life Falls Apart, Pull It Back Together
Where do you start to pinpoint where things start to go wrong. I've been thinking about people who live on the streets. I remember a few years ago when I was still married and we had some extra money, we took a Labor Day trip to Chicago to take the kids to the Field Museum. We got a room in the downtown Holiday Inn and after we were settled in, we took a walk looking for a place to have dinner. As we were walking the streets of downtown Chicago after 10pm on a Sunday night, we were amazed at all the activity. All the people walking, the restaurants that were open with sidewalk seating, the appearance of hustle and bustle. It wasn't like we had never been to a big city before, we used to live in Jacksonville Florida. But like Anderson, when the business day is done, the streets downtown become empty. Not so in Chicago. I'm not sure of all the different types of people we saw, but I know there were a few of the homeless sitting on stoops of closed business buildings. There was activity in the alley ways we passed. We kept the children close and finally found a place to get our dinner a few blocks from the hotel. The next day we decided to take the kids on the subway. Something none of us had ever done before. Surprisingly it wasn't as crowded as you see on television, but then again, it was a holiday and people weren't going to work. As we were sitting on the subway train, we noticed a few people dressed in dirty tattered clothing. One was walking up and down the aisle talking to people, asking for change. She passed us and was standing at the door of the compartment, ready to go through. I handed my youngest daughter a dollar and told her to go give it to the lady. This was their first experience with the big city, the subway and seeing a homeless person that most likely wouldn't be snuggling down in a bed with a pillow in a heated room that night. I was proud that they didn't laugh at her or point a finger, and when she said thank you, my daughter smiled at her and she smiled back.
I never thought that a time would come when I would have to sleep in a freezing room, without a bed, and wonder where my next dollar was going to come from. Until today. Oh, we don't have tattered dirty clothing. I can feed myself and my kids.. My kids never have to sleep in a freezing room, curled into a ball, with a space heater under a chair covered with a blanket to catch enough heat to stay warm by. They have a place to be. But I worry. Things go bad, then something good happens. It never seems to last long though. People tell me that we make our life. When trouble comes, just pull yourself up by the bootstraps, get out there and make it better. I think that those people don't realize sometimes there are things that are out of your control. Choices that others make do affect your life. I spend a lot of time waiting on other people to make their choice, so I can make mine. Today, I'm waiting on Waffle House to choose to give out W-2's. Once they do, and I get mine. I'll be waiting on the IRS to choose to accept my return and send it back to me. Once it's returned, I'll be waiting on my daughter to choose to find the time to transfer it to my paypal account so that I can use it to keep my bootstraps pulled up, while I'm waiting on a business out there to choose to look at my application, choose to call me for an interview, choose to hire me. Until all those choices are made, I'm stuck waiting to see how they will affect my life. Will I still have a house next month, freezing or not, that I can come home to, curl up in my chair and fall asleep. I don't know. But while I'm waiting to find out. I'm not going to forget those that are even less fortunate than I am. Because, there but for the grace of God, go I.
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Don't comment if all you think I'm looking for is pity. I'm not. This is how it is, and it is..what it is.
Thank you for the post... Things are hard around this house right now...not as bad as some...this old house needs a lot of fixen and I'm not getting any younger. Sometimes when I get to really feeling sorry for myself I think about what my daughter has told me many times. Mom we are better off than a lot of people. . .and God has plans. You write everything so beautifully CC...I enjoy reading. You are not alone...sending you lots of positive thoughts today.....
Like stars across the sky … . E per avvincere ….. Tu dovrai vincere ...
We were born to shine …All of us here because we believe......
One more thing ,you really made me feel good today reading this, it was inspiring. Thank You for taking the time to write...
Like stars across the sky … . E per avvincere ….. Tu dovrai vincere ...
We were born to shine …All of us here because we believe......
Dropped by Panera tonight to see if I could see you. No luck. But dang, it WAS cold next to the windows.
“If you treat an individual as he is, he will stay as he is; but if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
LOL no way I would make that up. I left earlier than I planned. I got a call from my oldest daughter. She wanted me to come over and do some stuff on her computer for her. She just got it from her in-laws and it was a mess. She paid a few dollars for my time, fed me some pizza and invited me to stay the night. I turned down the offer of staying the night. I decided to get out so I could get back online without being on dialup. Not tired yet. (oops, not really supposed to have conversations on the blogs. LOL)
I'll be there again tomorrow though. I'm trying to get some personal work done.
Some of the smaller things seem to be coming together for me and the girls.
Today, I gathered up my waterbed blankets and took them to the laundromat. For me, going there is the biggest waste of money. I could go to either one of my daughters and use their washer and dryer, and for one load, I would. But this was 2 loads and huge blankets. It would have taken me about 3 hours or more to wash and dry them elsewhere. So I sucked it up and spent the few dollars. I came home and fixed my dinner. If you've ever had limited electricity, you know how it is juggling what can be plugged in at any given time. When I plug the microwave in, I have to unplug 3 other things just to make sure I have enough power and don't trip a breaker. That would be bad, since I can't get to the breaker to flip it back if that should happen. So I go the next best route, I use surge protectors. That will trip off before the breaker does, and I'm still good.
Anyway, if you remember, about 2 weeks ago, my waterbed was frozen solid. I plugged it up and eventually it became slush. Now it's not slush any longer but just water again. I've checked for water leakage, and so far, so good. I thought, great, now I can eat my dinner that I fixed in the microwave after I unplugged everything and turned the light off, THEN I'll take my freshly washed blankets and make my bed. It should be getting warm enough now that when I heat the bedroom and cover the mattress, the heat should stay in and I will be able to sleep on a warm bed. I grab my surge protector and carry it to the bedroom along with my heater and the phone. I get in the bedroom and am going to unplug the waterbed heater from the extension cord, when I notice that the light on the thermostat is not on. I'm like, WTH!! Oh No! Remember me saying you have to unplug a few things to run the microwave? No, I didn't do it to fix tonights dinner, I did it last night. 24 hours of not getting any heat to the water in the mattress. I couldn't believe I had unplugged it and forgotten to plug it back up. I was so sad, for a minute. Then I decided what the heck. I'll go ahead and make my bed, plug it back up and heat my room. I don't get to sleep in my bed tonight, it won't be warm enough. But by tomorrow night, I have high hopes.
As it is...I'm sitting on it right now while I type this. And to be honest, for sitting, it's not that bad at the moment. It's been almost 6 months and I've missed my waterbed.
I appreciated you story very much CC. I think you taught your little on a valuable lesson about paying it forward. At the moment, you did have the dollar to spare and you gave it away. Karma (if you believe in it) is a very powerful thing. Keep giving of yourself - not just with money but time and friendship - and it will be returned to you ten fold. I have watched it happen and I have lived it.
It's like that here too CC. Just when you think people would be home in the warm bed, all kinds of folks everywhere. Then you go to say NEw Albany and it's like a ghost town. It's funny how that kind of stuff works.
Full Of Sunshine!
I just have one questions CC? Is it warm yet..:-)
Like stars across the sky … . E per avvincere ….. Tu dovrai vincere ...
We were born to shine …All of us here because we believe......
LOL, NO.....good god almighty!!! I woke up this morning and it was just way too cold to warm anything up. The only saving grace, it WAS warmer inside than out. ;)