What Kimmi Said
"I have learned that people really do try to have "internet loves". I thought that was an urban legend, but apparently it is true! 
"
I really don't know how to start this blog entry out. There are a dozen different ways to begin a sentence that is supposed to lead into the 'meat' of what I want to get across here. Which one should I start with? Oops, too late, I've already started the entry, and there is no making a second start now. I guess the question we all have to ask ourselves at one point or another is, "What do I do if I'm suddenly on my own again?" It's a question I didn't have to just ponder but now have to actually live. It's a scary world out there when you have to enter it once again as a single person. And to have to go back into it middle aged makes it doubly so. You wonder if you will ever meet anyone again that you will love, who will love you. Who will look past the fact that you aren't a spring chicken and you bring a lot of experience with you.
I chose to just meet people and make friends across the internet. This is a place that has opened up a new world for me and a lot of other people. The opportunity to meet people that you never would under most circumstances. As far apart as the busy, fast paced world of today has driven people, the internet brings us all closer together. We can invite perfect strangers into our livingrooms via the computer. Hiding behind a monitor is the ultimate in a blind date. If the person you are talking to becomes boring or a real turn off, you can shut the chat program down and pretend your computer crashed so you don't have to continue talking to them. Or you can be honest and say what you think. Without having to see the painful look of being rejected mirrored in their eyes. Or you can spend weeks, months getting to know someone and make a real connection.
But can you really find love on the internet? I don't think so. I think you can find a deep infatuation with someone while exchanging emails, chatting, and so on. But to find love, real love, you really need to spend some time in the presence of the targeted person. Anyone can attract someone else, but to hold the attraction takes qute a few things into account. Mainly the combination of all 5 senses, along with that innate 6th sense that we all have. And if you don't think the way a person tastes or smells makes a difference in their physical attraction, I will beg to differ. Even the subtle odor or taste that most people don't notice can stand out when there is a question of how attracted you are to someone. Then there is the real them. On the internet you can be anyone at any given time. But face to face, you can only be someone else for so long. The real you creeps out unless you are one hell of an actor. Sometimes it might be a fleeting look that goes unnoticed at first. But one that can not be held back for long. You keep rolling your eyes at me when we are talking face to face, and I'm going to wonder just how interested you ever were during our discussions. If you laughed at every other thing that I said, and I thought you found me amusing, I'm going to wonder if you rarely crack a smile when we are together. I suppose I could go on about the difference in perception based on internet communication as opposed to one on one, face to face, but I won't.
I've not given up on meeting people through this venue, but I don't expect to find my next real love here. At least not if he's several states away and unavailable to even date. Been there, done that, and all it does is frustrate you and ties you up so you don't meet anyone close to you. I've come to a happy medium with my search for male companionship. I might still have my friends sites where I can discover new and interesting people. But they are starting to be people that are closer to home. That I can make a date with on a Wednesday morning for coffee, or Friday night for dinner and a movie. I've also put myself back out in the public eye and am saying hello to people I can physically see and shake hands with. I'm starting up conversations with people (male and female) who are becoming familiar to me because I see them 3 or 4 times a week now.
I think...I've fooled myself in the past, before I was ready to really be out in the world as a single person. I wanted so much to not be single that I let myself be sucked into a relationship from the internet that was never going to last. Now, I just want a friend and companion, and I'm ready to take that step for real this time. Will the person that I eventually fall in love with be from the internet? Or will he be the guy that lives down the street, the one that I see at the grocery store every Thursday, or someone that bends over to pick something up that I've dropped when I'm in my favorite place having coffee? I don't know, but it's going to be interesting to find out.
No Kim, internet love is still an urban legend. It takes physical interaction to find real love. Don't worry, we'll get there. :)
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Afterthought: I mentioned my friends sites above. I want to share with you the most important thing I think I've ever said on any profile that I have had to create, and I think one of the truest things:
I'm famous! Or infamous! You choose.
CC I'm on my "third time is a charm" guy from Match.com. If this one turns out to be a dud, well them I guess I'm back to the drawing board. One thing I do like about internet "dating" sites, is that you get an idea of who they are, how educated they are, what they look like, etc... before you decide anything. It is kind of like car shopping - it could be pretty on the outside but runs like shit when you take it out.
I'm a little envious of you in that you have had your marriage and babies. I'm still waiting for that initial plunge. Trying to find someone in my situation without them being a complete loser is needle in haystack material! I think second time around people would have an easier go (in some ways) of it since you've all been there and done that!
Good luck in your search! Maybe you'll meet him at the grocery store!
Jason was my third time is a charm guy from the internet. It was mostly good while it lasted, but I would definitely call 6 months only short term. He's part of the reason I've not really had any interest in anyone for the last 7 months or so. Dang it takes a long time to get over and move on. I thought maybe I could with my truck driving friend, who I met over the internet 8 years ago while I was still married, but he gets depressed too easily, and uses his emotional feelings as a reason to back off. After nearly a month of not hearing from him, it's time to move on. And like I said, I think I'm finally ready to do the 'real' dating thing. :)
And you are famous! LOL All the way back here in Indiana you have made the front page of the Anderson Free Press in the blog section. ;)
Momma! I knew I would make the papers one day! haha
Yeah well depression is why I had to leave the last one. He was not an internet love, but someone I met and we spent 2 and 1/2 years together. When he lost his job I wasn't upset. He was. He went into a serious depression that he wouldn't go see someone about. I knew from past experience that it was unhealthy for me to stay. I left. He is now somewhat said about that but I'm moving on. I still love him but I can't spend my life with him and we both know it. Sucks!
Internet dating from those I know who have done it is really no different than just meeting someone at the local grocery store. If they are shady and fake it'll come out either way.
Just because you meet someone face to face and start some kind of friendship/relationship doesn't mean they are as they are. There's people online or offline that want you to know the good stuff about them and fail to report the bad.
I've never considered online as a source to have a relationship. However people are the same online and off.
Long distance relationships are about the same as face to face or online.
Glad I'm married. Met him at work.
Full Of Sunshine!
Well I think Internet love can be real..I have three daughters that have met fell in love and are living with or married . J has been married for 6 years and has two beautiful baby's and a new home with her guy...He is a good man. S has been married 6 years and is still very deeply in love with her guy, and her twin met her guy on line, he lives with her and is doing very very well. Also I have made and met my extended family in Russia. Been there twice and going back to spend time with my Russian Momma, her son my best friend past away almost a year ago today. You don't just find romantic love, I think you can make friendships that last forever..I know a little bit off track but just felt the need to share..hugs....
Like stars across the sky … . E per avvincere ….. Tu dovrai vincere ...
We were born to shine …All of us here because we believe......
It's not that I don't think you can't meet the man/woman that you fall in love with from the internet. I believe it's not love until you meet and all the physical, here in your face, stuff comes into play. I've had first hand experience with the infatuation of the internet meeting..only to feel absolutely nothing upon meeting. I'm just of a mind that no, you can't fall in love on the internet, it's pretty much just a stepping stone.
I agree with you, CC.
You and Kimmi ought to try eHarmony. I don't know about Match.com, but eHarmony only lets you communicate with people who are supposed to be compatible with you based on 29 criteria that they believe are necessary for a lasting relationship. You still get to see their profile and picture before you agree to communicate with them, but you don't just get to communicate with someone because you like the way they look or their education or interests seem to match yours. I recently met someone that I was introduced to there and we seem to have identical core values. We're not exactly alike, but we are in the areas that matter most.
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I've thought about it, but I'm not paying money to meet anyone. Buy a boyfriend? LOL I also don't want someone that is that closely like me. Common interest yes, and certain moral and family values yes, but I don't want our cores to be so close that I feel like I'm with myself. :O
It's not like that. Just the core things that are important to us. I wouldn't want to be w/someone just like me either. I don't mind paying a few bucks for a psychologist to help me find my soulmate. It costs you much more when you make the wrong choice.
http://anythinggoesforum.us/
Official AFP Tourist