The Real Hero

I have always known my son was an amazing child. He has a heart as big as the world and cares about everyone and everything. I sometimes see him put his needs aside to meet someone else’s needs. I never wanted him to have to sacrifice of himself to make others happy but he still will from time to time. Last Sunday night I had an over whelming urge to sit him down and talk to him about our current situation. I have not said anything to him about it at this point. He knows I’ve been tired and that his dad has been over helping us a great deal lately. But he is the kind of kid that just rolls with the punches. I pulled out the mammogram films and the ultra sound films. I held them up and showed him the pictures. I explained that these where pictures of my booby’s and I showed him what needed removed.  He giggled like all little boys would. I never actually said the word “Cancer”.  I told him I was sorry that I had been so tired lately but this is what had caused it. I also explained that this might go on for awhile after surgery.  Every time I said boob he giggled so I wondered how much of the conversation he really heard. I felt better because I at least put it out there for him rather than hiding it. Two days ago I heard him playing with a friend on the living room floor. I heard the following statement “my mom has breast cancer so don’t be annoying her tonight”. I was completely horrified to hear that phrase out of his mouth. I never told him it was cancer.  I stood there unable to move. That was the first time I heard someone close to me actually say that I had breast cancer. I gathered up my emotions and made a conscious decision to make sure he understood what breast cancer really is. Later in the evening he was in the living room and I asked him if he knew what breast cancer was.  I was amazed at his answer, “Well mom I know what a breast is (insert giggles here) and I know what cancer is. So I think you got a BIG problem with your boobs (giggles, again while making hand gestures of huge boobs on his chest)”. See I’m not the only person that see’s the humor in the world.  I explained to him the treatments, the meds, the rates for recovery, and that I love him more than anything in this world and even something this big would never change that.  It is not me that is brave, enduring, courageous, or even hopeful.  That one little boy embodies all those things to me. He is my bravery, he is my hope, he is my endurance, he is my courage, and over all he is my hero.