Value
What is your value? Undoubtedly when you hear the word value you will immediately think in terms of dollars. Tonight I am here to ask what my true value is. When I looked up value tonight in the dictionary I found twenty six possible entries. (Yes I actually looked it up) Not one was my picture. If I was a car I would very little value. I’m used and have recently had some upgraded parts.
Four Sale: mid seventies model. Used. Two owners. Much baggage. Some new parts.
Translation; I will be thirty five this year. I have been married and divorced twice. I have a son. And last Wednesday night I had a Cardiac Resynchronization defibrillator put in my chest. Last year I survived Breast Cancer. In August I lost my father to Heart Disease.
I have shared my battles with you all not for attention. But to find support from a group of people that most still remain faceless to me. And let’s face this is much cheaper than a therapist. Tonight I need to find my value. We put value to everything in our life. The TV is worth two hundred dollars. The Apartment is worth seven hundred dollars a month. My son’s education is worth the hundreds of thousands of dollars I will end up paying before all is said and done. The place I work says I am a valued employee; however the check says something different. Several years ago I vividly remember driving home from Fort Wayne and stumbling across a talk show discussing value. I do not remember who it was but I remember the point. If you hold up a twenty dollar bill and ask anyone if they want it everyone will say yes. If you take that same bill and rough it up, get it dirty, and then hold it up everyone still wants it. Just because the bill had a bad day its value never changed. However people do not see this same value in themselves. Obviously I am one of those people.
On Monday I was admitted to St Vincent’s Hospital in Indy due to my heart only working at fifteen percent capacity. By Wednesday night I was in surgery having the diffibulator sewn in to my chest. Thursday morning I was told at the rate I was going I would not have seen the end of the year. I would have most likely gone to sleep one night and my son would have found me in the morning. My nine year old son would have found his mother dead in her bed. The first thing I thought was not of the value my life holds, but whether I would have been dressed or not. Would the house be clean and what would people think of me if the dishes weren’t done. See I do not see the true value I have any further then the mother, house-keeper, ride to school every morning, employee, counselor, consultant, lunch lady, ride home, friend, laundry aid, night cook, tutor, giver of the bath, scooper of the dog poop, and night security. All are jobs that I can easily be replaced at. Open the yellow pages and you will find a listing for all. I was in the hospital and my entire world went right on without me. My son was cared for and the groceries were bought. The laundry is neatly folded. The floors were swept. Now understand I know my family values me. I know my friends value me. How do I value me?
Either he thinks he's freakin' God or he thinks I am. Either way, I'm about to get a cheap, perverse thrill out of crushing his entire belief system.
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I WOULD HOPE YOU KNOW YOU SHOWED THEM ALL HOW TO KEEP THINGS UP AND GOING .YOU HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE THERE TO HELP DO WHAT YOU DO ON YOUR OWN.NO ONE CAN DO IT ALL BUT YOU AND NO DOES IT LIKE YOU .THEY SAID ONE TIME THAT A WIFE,MOTHER ,COOK,BABY SITTER,AND ALL THE OTHERS YOU SAID THAT NO MAN COULD AFFORD .BABY GIRL YOUR VALUE IS SO HIGH TO ALL THAT KNOWS YOU AND LOVES YOU DON'T DROUGHT YOURSELF NOW YOU CAME SO FARE .I LOVE YOU AND WE ALL NEED YOU AROUND US SO TO CHANG THIS UP SOME WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO MY FLOORS,LAUNDRY,BABY SIT YOUR 32 YEAR OLD BROTHER FOR A WEEK OR SO FOR ME JUST REMEMBER 84 IS HERE ALSO .LOL WE ALL LOVE YOU GO BACK TO BED YOU NEED THE REST I LOVE YOU MORE THEN I COULD TELL YOU.
The prisoner wishes to say a word.............Freedom!!!!!!!
Self Value could be, how many lives have you positively touched along your journey..
It is not length of life, but depth of life.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
How a Man plays the game shows something of his character
How he loses shows all of it..
All to many times we leave this earth never knowing our "true value". Countless times, people have passed and had lines out the door and around the building and I'm sure they never knew the awesome amount of "value" they truely had. That's usually the great thing about people who are worth so much to the world. They never think they are valueable and thus never want anything back in return for being so great. If you were one to toot your own horn you would not be concerned with making everyone else's world's better.
On a personal note, I was in the hospital in July-Augest area for five of the longest days of my life. Nothing too serious since I didn't let it go...but, I was devasted at the thought of not making it home. I will be 35 in March. I have a husband and four wonderful daughters. I have made the life that I love! I made it! No one else. When I wasn't happy, I made the change to make me happy. When I was, I kept it up and reaped the benefits. Often, I too, have felt the all mighty question..what am I worth? But you know what...I get up everyday and ask God "who can I help today". And everyday someone needs me to help them. I value you myself because I know I make a difference in the world everyday for the better. I may not be perfect but I get up everyday and strive to better myself. To learn one more thing by bedtime, to love someone a little more than I did yesterday, to care about people that's where I find my value. I never focus on questions I can't answer and I hope you try not to either...you will prolly never know your true value (I'm sure when the day does come...you will have a very long line).
I know how frustrating it is to be on the go and in charge and then be forced to lay in a bed with nothing but the tv remote...evidentally you also have a dictionary and a computer, both of which no one gave me!!!!, but please...try to relax. Try not to figure out your world while your there. We can never see the answers until we are looking back at the past....
Your value lies in the eyes of that little boy who smiles everyday he sees his mom....You can't buy that kind of love WM, like that twenty dollar bill , I bet no matter how tired and how messy he sees you he still smiles and says he loves you. One day at a time..... I seem to remember a woman with a fighting spirit on the news making things right for your little one. Let the spirit rest a little and then get back into the fight. God has plans my friend...Hugs and lots of them.
Like stars across the sky … . E per avvincere ….. Tu dovrai vincere ...
We were born to shine …All of us here because we believe......
WM, you pretty well covered the list of chores you do around the house and workplace, and you are right-- someone else could step in and do those jobs just as well as you do. HOWEVER, you failed to stress another aspect of your presence here on earth: WHO you are, and not in the sense of WHAT you do. You are the mother of a fine son, and the daughter of the Mother of all mothers! You are the sister of a hard-working man, and a friend to many people. You are a touchstone in these peoples' lives, and the role you play can not be performed by any understudy. It's you or nobody. That make sense? Fight hard. Get well.
"You durn kids get outta my yard!"