Ask Dr. Goofy

Well Dr. Goofy, it is obvious that you are acquainted with my, er... friend... what was his name? Oh, yeah, Jim. Yes, I'm afraid he may be disposed to wearing ladies' unmentionables; I've seen him get slapped HARD on several occasions for suggesting that he'd like to get into some gal's scanties, even though he's such a runty little shrimp that he wouldn't have stretched them out any, and besides some of those women were a lot bigger than Rus... Jim. Do you think he may have more serious problems than being a thieving, skivvy-charring, pepper-eating, brain-damaged gargoyle?

Dear Jethronoo,

First thing I would suggest is that you get off the roads that I am driving on.

The reason being is that when I am driving I get destracted by the bug flying around in my car and it looks kinds special when I smash its but through its brain when I smack that sucker with a newspaper or magazine.

Hey have you ever read a newspaper.  The one I carry in my car is from 1974.  I can not tell what the headlines were back then because of all the bug splatters.  You ever swat a bug.  The make kind of a squsihy sound.

Back to your question.  I do not care what your question was and I do not really care what you do.  I am a Dr.  I deal with real issues and I can not remember what your issue was or do I care.  Hey are you paying in advance for this Dr. visit.

I know that when I go to the Dr. office they always ask but I lie and tell them I will pay them on the way out.  When they tell me they will sue me I just let them know that they do not even know my real name.  I got my aspirin prescription and they can kiss my hind end.

OK where was I at.  Like I care.  Any ways.  You ever go to the horse track they got some horses that run really fast.  I never bet on them though.

Hey who ask me a question.  Forget it whoever you are if I answered your question is was an accident and I did not mean to do it.  I promise I will not do it next time.

Hey I was just thinking.  If I do not know you from a frog in the pond, how would I know if you ask another question.  I am dang near starting to think and it is starting to hurt.  The fire alarm went off and I told the wife to chill out it was only the smoke alarm.  I expalined to her what caused it and she told me again that I was not suppose to do that.

Have a great day.  I know your tomorrow will be even better becaususe you will not be asking some daumb arse on the web some meaningful question.

Dr. Goofy

Dear Cybergeezer,

This person you speak of has to many prblems to describe on one website.  The cleveland clinic folks done gave up.  I should know I was one of the Doctors over ther ewhen it happened.  I quit and switched to the web.

I am wondering if you really might be setting out these undergarments that this fella you speak of stelas.  Are they yours or your neighbor's that also corresponds with me about an ald flatulence that live next to her. ( We aint suppose to say FART).

OK back on topic did you know that on the weekend there is not that much traffic on the road.  That is unless the road you are on is heading towards a church builing.  Do all church type facilities have a big plus sign on them.  Does that mean if I go in there and give them $$ that it will plus my chances to get the place that they preach about.

Do all dogs go to heaven.  I had a bad dog one time that I would feed and it would always bite me.  Well I did not know the neighbors fence was where it was and it was an attack dog that had a low tolerance for stupidity.  He had me pegged.

I figured that dog out.  I would go over by the fense that I did not know exeisted and carry my a dictionary.  Folled that pooch.  When he got close I threw it at him.  Bad for me.  He caught it in his mouth and he ate my darn book of big words and still bit me on the arse.

Oh well.  Whoever you are that I do not care about do whatever you want just stay away from the neighbors dog.

Have a day today and why not be sealfous and have another tomorrow.  Heck the kids in Ethiopis probably will to.

Check This Out Rusty

 DR GOOFY I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO TOAST MARSHMALLOWS IF I CAN'T HAVE A FIRE OUT SIDE BECOUSE OF THE OOOZONE THINGY AND I DON'T HAVE A GAS STOVE CAN YOU HELP ME ???

Ms. Nana of One,

This seemingly ridiculous question you ask about the silliest thing.  Did you know that there are millions of these incredibly tasteless globs of you speak that end off falling of the cooking device and end up in the fire or even worse they end up on the ground.  Have you ever stepped on a melted treat from 7734.  It is worse than getting drywall compound off the bottom of your shoe.

Have you ever stepped in drywall compound?  Well I have experience.  What happens is that I was watching my brother-in-law do his drywall magic and I ended up spilling the dang bucket and stepping into the glob on the floor.  He tells me it was my fault it was not my fault that big old bucket of worthless stuff was by the most cherished of coolers that had the refreshments from the almighty inside.  BEER.   Have you ever had a beer?  They are delicious and if you mix in a few treats from the garden, you will be better off. 

Did you know that beer is really a good food substitute?  There is all kinds of grains and stuff in there.  How do they do that take the grain and make a liquid?

I used to live in Colorado and they had a beer making place out there.  They had free samples.  They also had short tours where you go straight to the taps.  They got a longer one, but that seems like they are asking to much from a person to walk through the entire establishment just for a free beer.   Worse part is they limit you to 2 beers.  So if you ever go take some folks with you that do not drink beer and then drink there samples.

Oh well,

Dr Goofy says this did not come out the way I was thinking because I was thinking something earlier and then in my simple mind I thought something else and then I thought another thing and they got all jumbled up in my head and now I am confused.

What was your question?  I may have to revisit this.

Have a great day today and a better tomorrow.

OK I had not so good day at WORK.  Here is what happened.  Not happening.  I have a life at work and I have me another at home.  I am home and I do not have to be me until the next day.  Folks at work were pissy.  Folks on here are pissy.  I am not really much into pissy.

Sorry Naner for the last post, when I get over this menstrual thingy I am going throough I will answer appropriately.

Hey,  I started this thread to ask all you fine readers and posters to post the most off the wall comments you can.  There is no rules on this thread except you can not be serious.

Come on folks lets have fun.

OK A chicken crossed the road.  Why you ask?

Who cares it was a chicken.

Have a great day AFP people.  I know for a fact everyone of you will have a better day tomorrow than you could ever imagine.  That special wish, dream, thought will be there tomorrow.   This poster offers no guarntees.

  rusty no need to say your sorry to me...

I know I remember when I was I little child and you put that booby in my face and I got the milk from god.   AWhy did that milk taste like Captain Morgan or it may have been Jack Daniels.  

Memories.   Oh I know what I am gonna dream about tonight.