High School: 1957 vs. 2008

Good One Salmon, I received this one kinda the same format last week...

 

Then and now : the 1960's vs. the 2000's

THEN: Long Hair
NOW: Longing for hair.

THEN: The perfect high.
NOW: The perfect high yield mutual fund.

THEN: Keg.
NOW: EKG.

THEN: Acid Rock.
NOW: Acid Reflux.

THEN: Moving to California because it's cool.
NOW: Moving to California because it's warm.

THEN: You're growing pot.
NOW: Your growing pot.

THEN: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.
NOW: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children.

THEN: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
NOW: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor

THEN: Seeds and stems.
NOW: Roughage.

THEN: Popping pills, smoking joints.
NOW: Popping joints.

THEN: Our president's struggle with Fidel.
NOW: Our president's struggle with fidelity.

THEN: Paar.
NOW: AARP.

THEN: Being caught with Hustler magazine.
NOW: Being caught with Hustler magazine.

THEN: Killer weed.
NOW: Weed killer.

THEN: Hoping for a BMW.
NOW: Hoping for a BM.

THEN: The Grateful Dead.
NOW: Dr. Kevorkian.

THEN: Getting out to a new, hip joint.
NOW: Getting a new hip joint.

THEN: Rolling Stones.
NOW: Kidney stones.

THEN: Being called into the principal's office.
NOW: Calling the principal's office.

THEN: Screw the system!
NOW: Upgrade the system.

THEN: Peace sign.
NOW: Mercedes logo.

THEN: Parents begging you to get your hair cut.
NOW: Children begging you to get their heads shaved.

THEN: Take acid.
NOW: Take antacid.

THEN: Passing the driver's test.
NOW: Passing the vision test.

THEN: Swanson's Mushy chicken in an aluminum platter.
NOW: Lean Cuisine's Mushy chicken in a plastic bag.

THEN: "Whatever"
NOW: "Depends" 

This is the other I received along with the first...

 

Then and Now: Military Service Compared, World War II and Today.

1945- Rifles were made of wood and steel, shot a .30 caliber bullet that killed the enemy.
Now- Rifles are made of plastic and aluminum, shoot a .22 caliber bullet that wounds the enemy.

1945- The winning side used a US made .45 Caliber pistol, the losers a European 9mm.
Now- We use a European 9mm pistol. Nobody uses the .45.

1945- If you smoked, you had an ashtray on your desk.
Now- If you smoke, you are sent outside and are treated like a leper.

1945- If you said "damn," people knew you were annoyed and avoided you.
Now- If you say "damn" you better be talking about a hydroelectric plant.

1945- NCO's had a typewriter on their desks for doing daily reports.
Now- Everyone has an Internet computer, and they wonder why no work is getting done.

1945- We painted pictures of pretty girls on airplanes to remind us of home
Now- We put the real thing in the cockpit.

1945- Your girlfriend was at home, praying you would return alive.
Now- She is in the same foxhole, praying your condom worked.

1945- If you got drunk off duty, your buddies would take you back to the barracks to sleep it off.
Now- If you get drunk any time they slap you in rehab and ruin your whole career.

1945- You were taught to aim at your enemy and shoot him.
Now- You spray 500 bullets into the brush, don't hit anything, and retreat because you are out of ammo.

1945- Canteens were made out of steel. You could heat coffee or hot chocolate in them.
Now- Canteens are made of plastic. You can't heat anything in them and they always taste like plastic.

1945- Officers were professional soldiers first. They commanded respect.
Now- Officers are politicians first. They beg not to be given a wedgie.

1945- They collected enemy intelligence and analyzed it.
Now- They collect our pee and analyze it.

1945- If you don't act right, the commander might put you in the stockade till you straighten up.
Now- If you don't act right, they start a paper trail that follows you forever.

1945- Medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of their own.
Now- Medals are awarded to people who show up for work most of the time.

1945- You slept in a barracks, like a soldier.
Now- You sleep in a dormitory, like a college kid.

1945- You ate in a Mess Hall. It was free and you could have all the food you wanted.
Now- You eat in a dining facility. Every slice of bread or pat of butter costs, and you can only have one.

1945- We defeated powerful countries like Germany and Japan.
Now- We can't even beat Iraq or Yugoslavia.

1945- If you wanted to relax, you went to the Rec. Center, played pool, smoked and drank beer.
Now- You go to the Community Center and can still play pool.

1945- If you wanted a beer and conversation you could go to the NCO or Officers Club.
Now- The beer will cost you $1.75, membership is forced, and someone is watching how much you drink.

1945- You could buy quartermaster gas tax free because it was on a military reservation.
Now- AAFES charges you the tax but pockets the money themselves because it is on a military reservation.

1945-The PX had bargains for GI's who didn't make much money.
Now- You can get better merchandise cheaper at Wal-Mart.

1945- If a general wanted to make a presentation he scribbled some notes down and a corporal prepared a bunch of charts
Now- The general prepares his own charts, spending hours usnig Power Point.

1945- We could recognize the enemy by their Nazi helmets.
Now- We are wearing the Nazi helmets.

1945- We called the enemy things like "Krauts" and "Japs" because we didn't like them.
Now- We call the enemy things like "opposing forces" and "aggressors" so we won't offend them.

1945- Victory was declared when the enemy was dead and all his things were broken.
Now- Victory is declared when the enemy says he is sorry.

1945- If you killed an enemy soldier, you could bring home his rifle as a trophy.
Now- If you bring home anything at all as a trophy you get a court martial.

1945- A commander would put his butt on the line to protect his people.
Now- A commander will put his people on the line to protect his butt.

1945- After the war, you could buy your own rifle from the government, cheap.
Now- You can't be trusted with your own rifle, and you'll be jailed if you ever get one.

1945- Wars were planned and run by generals with lots of important victories.
Now- Wars are planned and run by politicians with lots of important panty raids.

1945- We knew we were fighting for freedom. The country was committed to winning.
Now- We don't know what we are fighting for.

1945- All you could think of was getting out and becoming a civilian again.
Now- All you can think of is getting out and becoming a civilian again.