Dear Diary

Dear Diary: Indiana Winters

Aug. 12 - Moved into our new home in
Indiana . It is so beautiful here. The hills and river
valleys are so picturesque. I have a beautiful old oak tree
in my front yard. Can hardly wait to see the change in the
seasons. This is truly God's Country.


Oct. 14 - Indiana is such a gorgeous place
to live, one of the real special places on Earth. The leaves
are turning a multitude of different colors. I love all of
the shades of reds, oranges and yellows, they are so bright.
I want to walk through all of the beautiful hills and spot
some white tail deer.. They are so graceful, certainly they
must be the most peaceful creatures on Earth. This must be
paradise.

Nov. 11 - Deer season opens this week. I
can't imagine why anyone would want to shoot these
> elegant animals. They are the very symbol of peace and
tranquility here in Indiana . I hope it snows soon. I love it
here!


Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. I woke to
the usual wonderful sight: everything covered in a beautiful
blanket of white. The oak tree is magnificent. It looks like
a postcard. We went out and swept the snow from the steps
and driveway. The air is so crisp, clean and refreshing. We
had a snowball fight. I won, and the snowplow came down the
street. He must have gotten too close to the driveway
because we had to go out and shovel the end of the driveway
again. What a beautiful place. Nature in harmony.  I love it
here!

Dec. 12 - More snow last night. I love it!
The plow did his cute little trick again. What a rascal. A
winter wonderland. I love it here!

Dec. 19 - More snow - couldn't get out
of the driveway to get to work in time. I'm exhausted
from all of the shoveling. And that snowplow!

Dec. 21 - More of that white shit coming
down. I've got blisters on my hands and a kink in my
back. I think that the snowplow driver waits around the
corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. A*hole.

Dec. 25 - White Christmas? More
freakin' snow. If I ever get my hands on the sonof* who
drives that snowplow, I swear I'll castrate him. And why
don't they use more salt on these roads to melt this
crap??

Dec. 28 - It hasn't stopped snowing
since Christmas. I have been inside since then, except of
course when that SOB "Snowplow Harry" comes by.
Can't go anywhere, cars are buried up to the windows.
Weather man says to expect another 10 inches. Do you have
any idea how many shovelfuls 10 inches is??

Jan. 1 - Happy New Year? The way it's
coming down it won't melt until the 4th of July! The
snowplow got stuck down the road and  the shithead actually
had the balls to come and ask to borrow a shovel! I told him
I'd broken six already this season.

Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house. We
went to the store to get some food and a damn deer ran out
in front of my car and I hit the bastard. It did $3,000 in
damage to the car. Those beasts ought to be killed. The
hunters should have a longer season if you ask me.

Jan. 27 - Warmed up a little and rained
today. The rain turned the snow into ice and the weight of
it broke the main limb of the oak tree in the front yard and
it went through the roof. I should have cut that old piece
of shit into fireplace wood when I had the chance.

May 23 - Took my car to the local garage.

Would you believe the whole underside of the car is rusted
away from all of that damn salt they dump on the road? Car
looks like a bashed up, heap of rusted cow shit.

May 10 - Sold the car, the house, and moved
to Florida . I can't imagine why anyone in their
freakin' mind would ever want to live in the God
forsaken State of Indiana .