Parents need to step up to the plate and be parents

I think a big problem is parents being complacent. They could care less what their kids do or say. They are too busy worrying about themselves and then make excuses so they do not have to deal with any issues.

You also have to worry about the parents that say do as I say, not as I do, a lot of the things kids are learning is from the parents that should not be parents. Also, I am not against spanking but there are many people that cannot control their anger before striking a child and it gets out of control, maybe someone shoud define the term "spanking" for some of those loving parents that feel it is ok to grab their child by the back of the neck so hard the child squirms, or by the arm leaving red marks, or grabbing their faces so hard you think their eyes will pop out. Some people should not discipline because they cannot control themselves. Parents need to set a better example for their children.

Great post J4F.  I agree but lets take it a step farther.  Parents need to start being parents in general.  These parents that lay their butts in bed of a morning and do not get up get the kids up nor fix them breakfast.  I would like to slap on those so called parents.  They don't or can't help with homework.  Maybe because they are babies having babies and did not finish school.  Some hoe people need to get a grip but I do not know what the answer is.

I will chime in on this thread from the point of view of a coach. I am a father and I am human so at times I am pointing out the sliver in one persons eye while ignoring the pole in mine I am sure.

I grew up in a situation uncommon to most. I lived in a childrens home (my parents both worked there) that housed children from infant to 18. Discipline was an everyday thing. We all had chores, received an allowance, ate together, and got in trouble together. I was young and didn't really know this was not a "normal" situation to grow up in.

I had multiple sets of "parents" living at this complex of 5 buildings each with its own house parents, plus a director, grounds keeper, maintenance staff, cook etc. We (the kids) all knew that we had to respect and listen to any and every adult we came into contact with. When, not if, we did something wrong, punishment was swift but relative.

Those of us who used our brains, realized very quickly how to stay out of trouble. It seemed that 10 seconds after we did something we were not supposed to, punishment was handed down.

Today....

I coach a great group of kids. Some are the most polite and respectful people you could meet and others are so disrespectful you cringe when you see them walk in the door. However, I have rules at practice everyone must follow to stay there. They are simple, and I have productive "punishment" for breaking the rules. I can't lay a hand on the kids even if I wanted to, that would lead to a swift trip to court I am sure. But there are many ways to punish a child and get your point across without resorting to physical contact.

I use excersise as my main tool in the tool box. I use time outs (sit out of practice). I take things away such as the ability to participate in future meets.

It doesn't take the kids long to get the word out to new members of the team about what they can and can not do or say. Some punishment is handed out to the entire team or to select members of the teamwhen anyone does something against the rules. Peer pressure can work in a positive manner as well.

What I have found is that even the most disrespectful kids quickly conform to "society" when pushed against the proverbial wall. As a society, we have allowed the kids of today to feel entitled and feel they can say or do anything. In our small "team society" we change that feeling. I have been told by some of the parents that it spills over to their everyday life as well. I let the kids know I will not accept them mouthing off when they aren't at practice anymore then I would if they are there. 

I want them to be part of my team, I also want them to represent themselves in and out of the pool in a manner our club would be proud of. They learn from the beginning that what they do and say outside of practice reflects on our club, on our team, and on me. 

I believe kids want discipline and direction. I have said it many times before. We as a society of adults have to be interested in a more respectful group of young people and teach them what repect is all about. Until we are willing, we will not see a change in the masses.

I have always believed that when you see a child acting out...they are wanting attention.  The attention that they are not getting at home.  I have a friend of mine who met a girl not too long after she became pregnant with another man's child.   He stayed with this girl and they had the baby and he always cared for the child as if she were his.  The guy and girl finally broke up and a couple years later, he married someone else.  He has been married now for about 6 years, but has always had contact with the child he had raised as his own.  He also has 2 kids with his wife now.  The other day, the ex girlfriend calls him and asked him to take the daughter, who now is 14 years old, because she(mother) could not handle her anymore.  The girl has never been a problem while here...but acts up when she is with her mother in southern Indiana.  Go figure....mom doesn't care what the girl is doing...mom is always laying around the house....not working anywhere and sleeps all day or drinks and does drugs.  This man(my friend) is not the father...(the father is not in the picture)...but this child respects my friend and his new wife and wanted to come and live with them.  She acted out with her mom for attention that she seemed to get when she was up here.  Mom didn't want to be bothered with her....this is one good man....kudos to him for giving this child unconditional love when he didn't have to.  When he broke up with the mother...he didn't abandon the child....

Zia it sounds like the girl would be a lot better up here with your friend, I hope it all works out for her!

Kudos indeed to him. But my experience in working with the juvenile court for several years say that if he goes for guardianship or custody she will appear and be the "mother of the year".  It is amazing in court how parents who have treated their kids miserably will raise a fit over kids being in foster care. There are good and bad foster parents agreed but they apparently do not want kids to have a clean bed, regular meals, and someone who actually cares for them.

he left the other day to go get her...she's here now and starting school on Monday.

Road Rage in front of Starbucks on Scatterfield, two men fighting in the street

wrong thread...lol