Wonder Whatever Happened To...
Mon, 11/02/2009 - 7:51pm
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I drive down Madison Ave. from time to time, past the old neighborhood where Nana raised us rotten kids. Sometimes I wonder about the equally rotten kids we used to run around with. Rusty, do you remember Neb Feeney? He was that miserable little SOB with the beautiful singing voice-- sounded just like Roy Orbison. Well, at least he did after the bicycle accident. Before that, the only thing he was any good at was rock throwing. Remember the "hailstones" that used to hit those snotty rich kids practicing for the Soap Box Derby at Derby Downs? Heh, heh, heh. Speaking of kids' race cars, you're probably too young to remember the Beatles' 1st appearance on Ed Sullivan. It was all people talked about for weeks; I, on the other hand, had absolutely NO interest in watching that show. I thought they were talking about the Beedles, that crummy bunch of inbred Melungeons who lived on West 2nd. That scumball Erney Beedle chased me for three blocks down 1st St. because he suspected me of stealing the wheels off his bratty little toad of a son's Radio Flyer. He was such a dirtbag that he had to drive a 4-door DeSoto; it was a kind of s**tknuckle brown color, as I recall. Do you remember me giving you rides on that push car I built out of those boards I "found" behind the Container factory and those nice Radio Flyer wheels that happened to be in a box out in our garage? We had some fun with that, until I "accidentally" pushed Neb out into Madison Avenue in front of that beer truck. What great memories!
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OK Geezer. Alot of memories are flooding back now. I remember waching the Beetles on Ed Sullivan Show. I spemt alot of my youngers year at Derby Downs. Remember when we mad the skate board out of a pair of silver skates. Of course you wanted me to go down the hill first. You told me that we had the safety devices in place for that decade which was nothing but gravity.
Ok, So here I was after I got the verver to start the downhill slope from 7734. You had to push me, becuase you told me it would be funner that way.
Why did not you tell me what would happen with the homemade skateboard when it encountered a little rock. The darn thing you made for me stopped dead in its track and I acted like the black and white Superman shows we always watched when we first got home from school.
The flight was kinda neat. But when I landed things changed. My entire face was red. My legs and elbows were red.
Did I mention we did not take any red paint with us.
I had a blast growing up there and I got more stories coming about that area.
I went back the next week and used that worthless homemade skateboard again.
Remember the train tressel
I do not tarnish my word. It is the only thing that is truly only mine.
Road rash is painful. . .
I recall my brother trying to reenact an Evel stunt and ending up playing the nutcracker suite on the crossbar of his bicycle! (Poor boy was rendered sterile by the incident, which is probably a good thing considering).
AFD Heavy Rescue Unit RULES!
Then there was the kid in high school who was at the weight machine during weight training and trying to show off for some cheerleaders who "just happened" to stop by. He was standing facing the weights in the machine, and had doubled his weight load as soon as he spotted them. As a result he arched his back during the lift, and when he had to let it go because it was too heavy for him, the whole stack of steel plates came down right upon his seeds. . . (Kid quit the football team and joined the choir once he heeled up. Sang soprano). . .They installed a steel mesh screen same day, and then you had to walk around to pull the pin and adjust your weights after that. . .
AFD Heavy Rescue Unit RULES!
I just remember flying like superman and then gravity got a hold of my arse and threw me to the earth of concrete.
I also remember going down that hill on my 20 inch 5 speed swin bycicle with a banana seat. I would lay down on the seat. Did I mention that they have a curb feature on each side of the Derby Downs. An a chain link fence about 4 feet past each side of these features.
If you were ever stupid enough as I was on that mountain and hit this curb side features with the front tire of you 20 inch Schwinn Bycicle that were were laying down acting like evil kneivel it was bad.
The bike stops and somehow the gravitational pull took me through the Fancy handle bars and shoved my face into the chain link fence after my head hit the curb things they had to have on the dang derby down track that is only put there to hurt little bys that are dummer than they look but have a good ideal at the time.
I do not tarnish my word. It is the only thing that is truly only mine.
I recall a rather humorous incident one hot summer day, when a bunch of us were going to the local quarry to ride our dirt bikes and tempt the angel of death. Chuckie's bike was in the shop and so he asked if he could ride out there with me on my Harley Davidson 350. Sure Chuck, jump on!
As we began the trek through suburban Chicago's alleyways (notoriously uneven surfaces that are miniature versions of the streets of San Francisco), Lil Chuckie didn't want to hang on to me lest he be forced to endure a hazing from the guys surrounding his sexual orientation, so he manned up and rode the back seat without holding onto anything. . .
It was a fine summer day, the birds were out, and the trash trucks had cleared the alley the previous day so even the air was pleasant sans the sour smell of purifying refuse and maggot soup.
We were traveling in a line of about 8 motorcycles, at a rather high rate of speed in order to avoid any potential coppers that may have been leaving the local donut establishments, when we encountered a rather brutal dip in the concrete alley surface.Now, I didn't see it myself, but the 7 guys behind me did, and here's what they say happened.
As I went across the first part of the dip lil Chuckie's 6 came about a foot off the seat surface, but the inertia kept his 6 lined up with the line of travel, so he came down hard right where his 6 had been prior to the dip, at about the mid point; but when I went up the other side Chuckie was air born again and this time the motorcycle was well beyond his reentry point by the time he reached it.
He came down on his 6 right on the concrete surface, and upon contact his jean exploded off of him like those pants the male strippers wear, in the wink of an eye.
I "felt" him leave the bike since the weight changed dramatically, and so braked hard. When I turned my head to see where he was I saw him sitting on the alley surface in his underwear. His face had the look of pain that only a nice case of road rash can bring to it.
The guys behind us managed to stop without further damaging lil Chuckie, and when we all could manage to quell the hysterical laughter, somebody helped Chuckie stand up. Yeah, the seat of his underwear was history and in it's place was a bare 6 that resembled the raw hamburger Ma used to bring home from the butcher shop at least once a week. Somebody asked Chuckie if he was on the rag, and the laughter again hit the entire group.
I grabbed a couple of towels from some lady's clothes line, (back then they hung their laundry on a clothesline in the yards), and drove Chuckie back home, (we were about a block and a half from where we had started), and his Ma took him to the hospital.
Chuckie never road bitch again though. . .LOL!
AFD Heavy Rescue Unit RULES!
Well Cyber, myself being the youngest of the 3 Amigos, Raised by Nana It is hard for me to recall everything.. I do remember a bicycle accident.. I wondered where the 2 wheeler I learned to ride came from.. It did travel down the road with a bit of "Dog Leg Effect" were you the one that drug it home after the bike accident.. I often wondered where all the hammer dents in that Ole' bike came from.. guess it was from you trying to straighten it out a bit..
As for the Beatles on Ed Sullivan, I remember all the "Tall folks" talk'n of how they were just some kind of ''Hippies''.. I was to young to know what a Hippy was and just Thought they Were Talk'n About Ole' Aunt Myrtle..Uncle Melvin use to say she was a bit Hippy so, I never connected Her & the Beatles very well..
If you do remember her..Aunt Myrtle,was the one with the wooden leg.. I was always so afraid of her Wooden leg... That shoe would keep falling off when she walked, she would holler for me to come put it back on for her again, then that funny squeaky sound it made just gave me shivers..
It was always fun get'n to ride in the Ole' Board with the Shinny Red wheels.. Never really knew what happen to the Ole' Board wagon till just now..The fun we had as kids just spelunking around finding pop bottles, shoot'n them sling shots we made out'a old inner tubes, and the famous mud ball fights.. I use to put a Rock in the middle of mine to even the score when Jimmy Bitchall that, rich fat kid would join in on the game..
Oh.. childhood.. the fun we had..
I recall a rather humorous incident one hot summer day, when a bunch of us were going to the local quarry to ride our dirt bikes and tempt the angel of death. Chuckie's bike was in the shop and so he asked if he could ride out there with me on my Harley Davidson 350. Sure Chuck, jump on!
As we began the trek through suburban Chicago's alleyways (notoriously uneven surfaces that are miniature versions of the streets of San Francisco), Lil Chuckie didn't want to hang on to me lest he be forced to endure a hazing from the guys surrounding his sexual orientation, so he manned up and rode the back seat without holding onto anything. . .
It was a fine summer day, the birds were out, and the trash trucks had cleared the alley the previous day so even the air was pleasant sans the sour smell of purifying refuse and maggot soup.
We were traveling in a line of about 8 motorcycles, at a rather high rate of speed in order to avoid any potential coppers that may have been leaving the local donut establishments, when we encountered a rather brutal dip in the concrete alley surface.Now, I didn't see it myself, but the 7 guys behind me did, and here's what they say happened.
As I went across the first part of the dip lil Chuckie's 6 came about a foot off the seat surface, but the inertia kept his 6 lined up with the line of travel, so he came down hard right where his 6 had been prior to the dip, at about the mid point; but when I went up the other side Chuckie was air born again and this time the motorcycle was well beyond his reentry point by the time he reached it.
He came down on his 6 right on the concrete surface, and upon contact his jean exploded off of him like those pants the male strippers wear, in the wink of an eye.
I "felt" him leave the bike since the weight changed dramatically, and so braked hard. When I turned my head to see where he was I saw him sitting on the alley surface in his underwear. His face had the look of pain that only a nice case of road rash can bring to it.
The guys behind us managed to stop without further damaging lil Chuckie, and when we all could manage to quell the hysterical laughter, somebody helped Chuckie stand up. Yeah, the seat of his underwear was history and in it's place was a bare 6 that resembled the raw hamburger Ma used to bring home from the butcher shop at least once a week. Somebody asked Chuckie if he was on the rag, and the laughter again hit the entire group.
I grabbed a couple of towels from some lady's clothes line, (back then they hung their laundry on a clothesline in the yards), and drove Chuckie back home, (we were about a block and a half from where we had started), and his Ma took him to the hospital.
Chuckie never road bitch again though. . .LOL!
Now that's Funny right there..Unless you were Chuckie..
I don't care who you.. are..
I wonder whatever happened to Junior Jarvis? I know Total remembers him and his twin sister Juniorene; he had the biggest crush on her! Well, maybe it wasn't so much a crush as a perverse attraction; Juniorene was pretty well world famous around west Anderson for her willingness to display her young "womanly charms" in exchange for a candy bar. I encountered her the other day, hanging around the plasma center there on 8th St. with a crowd of what the APD call "the usual suspects". She's only got one tooth now. And it's brown. Maybe that's an indicator of her success in accumulating those candy bars. It's kinda a shame she and Total couldn't make a go of it; they'd have like six teeth between 'em, which is a nice round number, I think. And no, I never proposed to do any "business" with that girl-- she was way too young for me, and it's generally well known that I have a life-long steady relationship with the chocolate industry, and I'm not inclined to share my Milky Ways, even with a world-wise exhibitionist Lolita like Juniorene.
P.S. Did you boys ever see that little liquor flask "Auntie" used to keep stashed in her wooden leg? Now that was downright handy when the cops went to search her!
I somehow wondered when Juniorenes name would enter the picture.. She sometimes would run me a credit line if I promised her all my Halloween candy.. She did know a bunch about the "Bee & Bird thing" Many fond memories come from her walking with me back behind the 'Ole' Shacks, Wood Shack"..Momma Nana would ask me why it took so long the bring the wood to the Shack house.. Well, I was taught to tell the truth so, I would say... Momma_Nana..
"I Dropped a couples loads" before, I could get a good hold of my wood, readying myself to bring it up to the Shack.. She would always tell me to Be careful when Handling my Wood, you can get a really bad Blood Blister if you handle it wrong... I never wanted to know what one of those really was but, I think Juniorene had gave me a pretty good idea what happens if, you ever pinch yourself wrong and a bunch of blood formed under your skin..
I never seen 'Aunt Myrtle' without her leg on.. Always wondered since Momma_Nana had warned me she was a "Bit Touchy" about that wooden leg, not having to many Men Folk ask her out for some dancing.. Uncle Melvin the one that use to say, "she was just a bit Hippy".. Well, I never understood what he meant by that, she never really wore any beads, or tye died stuff..
He was telling this story about one Ole' Barn dance that Aunt Myrtle attended.. She was in a big spin at the end of the dance and her leg flew off.. Story goes that it landed somewhere in the crowd scaring the bejeebies out'a most the young folk there.. She had to
runhop over and get it.. After that, she did not attend any more Dances.. That sure limited her choices of the Men Folk look'n to Court a female lady type...That there time may have been when Geezer found out about the little flask that she kept hidden in that Ole' Wood Leg..I got'a get myself head'n out to Work at the Car Wash.. Plenty of Dirty tires to wash there.. The Big Boss there said I may be get'n "myself a raise" sometime soon.. He said, He ordered me something that has a "3 step process" to move up some with the car wash'n .. Boy, oh boy, am I excited to maybe bring home some more money..
See you all tonight when I get home from the work'n class..
Total_TinyLittleManBrother_Mayhem
Out & Over, What I do Not Know..
Juniorene still seems to be popular with that plasma center crowd, tho I imagine she has upped her prices considerably from the candy bar days. I doubt you'd care to see what she has to show off these days, Tiny.