Tell me the most crazy way you made extra Christmas Money,,, by Donnie Baker

 Donnie Baker here,,,Hey man I know everyone has felt the Christmas pinch, "No Mon,, No Fun."  You know,,, when Ya aint got no extra money blues. Ya got to find a Christmas job.

"BUT" you can only work that job two or three weeks. Anything longer than that you start to lose money.  Your boss will hold out state tax,,, federal tax,,, S.S. tax,,,  & county tax. I even had a boss one time that whanted to hold out friendship dues.  I told him to his face, "He never had a friend  that wasn't made out of plastic" I swear I did. That's a rip off man, all these taxes.

Any how, a couple of years ago I was dating Paula Lionel, Thats right "Lionel", just like the Lional train. Back in the fourth grade she got the nickname "train". Nobody thought anything about it till she got in high school. I was on a date with her, and we were at the drive in movie. I made the mistake and called her by her nickname, she got so pissed she kicked me out of my own car.

"Paula train",,,, Man thats funny,,, I don't care who you are.  Well,,, we were going steady. Christmas is approaching .I aint go no money. When I picked her up for a date her Ol man met me at the door. (He always thought he was better than most of us in the neighborhood,  because he was a medical doctor.)

He did all the father things,, he wanted to know where we were going,,, when we would be back and all that crap. I told him "I would have her home early because my last two girl friends slapped a paternity lawsuit on me, and, I aint got no money". That was a lie, but I wanted to mess with is mind. 

Hell,, he got so shook up,,,, he said if I wouldn't date his daughter,,, He would get me a job at the clinic. Thats a deal man,, (I always broke up with my girl friends before Christmas so I didn't have to buy them a gift) I was going to dump her that night anyway.

My first day on the job at the clinic,,, They got me running the dish washer. That's right "I'm a dish washer at the  fertility clinic" I'm washing  all these white cups that the nurses keep bring in "ALL DAY LONG". I got so bored, I took a dry marker and drew a bulls eye in the the bottom of the  clean cups. I even wrote the police chief's telephone number in some, and a note that said "call me tonight"

I broke my own rule about only working for two or three months, I had that job for almost a full year. I was even promoted to "Library Supervisor" I got to pick out the magazines and video's the male clients would look at & watch.

It's a state law man,  look it up,,,,all reading and viewing materal in a sperm bank needs to be discarded after they have been in use for two weeks. I would hit the trash cans for the Mother load of porn twice a month. Thats where I learned to supplement my income.

Hey I gotta go man,,, Paula Lionel knocking at my door.  It looks like it going to be a Merry Christmas after all.

signed,

Donnie Baker