Totally tasteless jokes...

A guy asked a girl "have you ever had magic sex?" She replied "No, how do you do that?"

He said "We screw, then you disappear! Tada Beotch!"...hahaha 

I couldn't help myself!! These were too funny!!!

An ugly woman walks into a store with her 2 kids. A man asked "Are they twins?" Mom says "No, why?"

Man says "Because I can't see why anybody would screw you twice." 

'Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?'
'Yes. What can I do for you?'
'I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith....He's hiding' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hiding' it there.'
'Thank you very much for the call, sir.'

The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.

Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.

'Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd...Did the Sheriff come?'
'Yeah!'

'Did they chop up your firewood?'
'Yep!''
Happy Birthday, buddy!'

(Rednecks know how to get-R-dun)

A woman stuck her head into a hair salon and asked, 'How
long before I can get a wash & curl?'
The beautician looked around the salon full of customers
and said, 'about 2 hours.' The woman left.
A few days later, the same woman stuck her head in the
door and asked, ' how long before I can get a
wash & curl?'
The beautician looked around at the salon and said,'
about 3 hours.' The woman left.
A week later, the same woman stuck her head in the salon
and asked, ' How long before I can get a wash &
curl?'
The beautician looked around the salon and said, 'about
a hour and a half.' The woman left.
The beautician turned to her girlfriend and said, 'Hey
Juanita, do me a favor.
Follow that woman and see where she goes. She keeps
asking how long she has to wait for a wash & curl,
but then she doesn't ever come back.'
A little while later, Juanita returned to the salon, laughing
hysterically. The beautician asked, 'So, where does that woman go when
she leaves?'
Juanita looked up, wiped the tears from her eyes and said, YOUR MAN'S HOUSE!