Lobster Tail and Beer
"Lord almighty", "my three favorite things!!"
The other PINK meat!
DEEP THOUGHTS......
Fri, 12/28/2007 - 5:40am
AFP Legend
You're a pig!
My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one's country, not to its institutions or its officeholders. The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing; it is the thing to watch over, and care for, and be loyal to. Institutions are extraneous, they are its mere clothing, and clothing can wear out, become ragged, cease to be comfortable, cease to protect the body from winter, disease, and death. - Mark Twain
Tue, 01/01/2008 - 9:26pm
Captain
When Carl found out he was going to inherit a fortune
when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a
woman to enjoy it with.
So, one evening he went to a singles bar where he
spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look
like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to
her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and
I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening
and, three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at estate planning than men.
The other PINK meat!
Tue, 01/01/2008 - 11:19pm
AFP Legend
My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one's country, not to its institutions or its officeholders. The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing; it is the thing to watch over, and care for, and be loyal to. Institutions are extraneous, they are its mere clothing, and clothing can wear out, become ragged, cease to be comfortable, cease to protect the body from winter, disease, and death. - Mark Twain
Thu, 01/03/2008 - 1:55pm
Captain
ROAD RAGE
An honest man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
The tailgating woman hit the roof--and the horn--screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection. As she was still in mid-rant,she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched,finger printed, photographed and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker,the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."
The other PINK meat!
Sat, 01/05/2008 - 1:22pm
been there
ROAD RAGE
An honest man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
The tailgating woman hit the roof--and the horn--screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection. As she was still in mid-rant,she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched,finger printed, photographed and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker,the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."
Yeah I'm free.Free Falling!
Sat, 01/05/2008 - 10:01pm
Captain
Two good ole boys in an Mississippi trailer park were sitting
around talking one afternoon over a cold beer. After a while the 1st guy says to 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off hunting and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it sure would make us even.
The other PINK meat!
Sun, 01/06/2008 - 12:24am
AFP Legend
My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one's country, not to its institutions or its officeholders. The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing; it is the thing to watch over, and care for, and be loyal to. Institutions are extraneous, they are its mere clothing, and clothing can wear out, become ragged, cease to be comfortable, cease to protect the body from winter, disease, and death. - Mark Twain
Tue, 01/08/2008 - 9:31pm
Supporter
A doctor in rural Texas wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he
approached his assistant, Bubba."I am going hunting tomorrow and we don't want to close the clinic.
I
want you to take care of the clinic and take care of our patients."Yes, sir!" answers Bubba. The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: "So, Bubba how was your day?"
Bubba said he took care of three patients.
"The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL."
"Great," says the doctor, "and what about the second one?"
"The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir,"
says
Bubba. The doctor replies, "You're good at this, Bubba. And what about the
third patient?"
"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman
enters like a flame. She undresses herself! She takes off
everything, including her bra and her panties; lies down on the
table,
spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME! For five years I have not
seen a man!'" "And what did you do, Bubba?" asks the doctor. Bubba replied,
"I put drops in her eyes."
I have everything I need it's the wants that get me in trouble~Ambiguous
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Two men are out fishing at their favorite fishing hole, just fishing quietly and drinking beer.
Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Bob says, "I think I'm
going to divorce my wife, she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months."
John continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says, "You
better think it over, women like that are hard to find."
The other PINK meat!