Second Harvest Column: Network of Human Kindness

By Lois Rockhill

This ongoing column is about hunger and poverty. I write about the part Second Harvest Food Bank plays in these issues. I try to point out, too, how each of us can advocate for stronger federal nutrition programs and how these programs positively impact the plight of our low-income residents.

It is usually an easy task to pick a subject and type away. Not this column. I am actually writing it during the Super Bowl just five days after my mother died here at my home. I am using a laptop. The screen has been blank for two hours and not because of any deep interest in the game. I have, it seems, energy only for grieving.

My mother was 93. She shared our home for more than eight years. She was confined to bed for the past three. I had lots of wonderful help caring for mom. My husband and daughter were terrific. Saint John’s Hospice and LifeStream provided critical services allowing us to keep Mom at home. She eventually qualified for a Medicaid waiver that picked up most of the costs for caretakers we hired.

Truthfully, it wasn’t easy. An evening out, vacation, an overnight or working late all required hard-to-do scheduling. Someone had to be at the house at all times. We’ll enjoy the freedom, once we get used to it. But we miss Mom, and we treasure the time we had together. As her health declined, her love for her family seemed to become more poignant.  

During these years, I have thought often of other families. I wondered how people with already strained resources could manage to keep their loved one at home. I remembered how hard and time consuming it was to apply for the Medicaid waiver and to manage her care even with help.

Since Mom’s death, I have thought about the network of human kindness. Hearing from family and friends. Cards, flowers, visits. Kind words. People extending themselves to shore up a friend face to face with loss. Not unlike the kindness shown by so many when you hear that your neighbor is in need of food.

As I looked out over the crowd of people attending the Dream Ball Saturday night, I could appreciate how this annual fundraiser is an example of collective kindness. So many people reach out to make life easier for others. The planning, the preparation, the gathering of people who support our work is a moving testimony to their compassionate, caring hearts.

The woman preparing a meal with donated food may be in touch with the kindness of others. Like me, she might be thinking of their goodness in her time of need. Like you, she might be doing what she can to help another.

Mom spent her life caring for family, friends and strangers. In her last years, our immediate family soaked up that care and love. Her room is empty, but the goodness that was her will abide in our hearts forever. She will continue to remind us that there are many people making our world a good place to live.

(Lois Rockhill is executive director of Second Harvest Food Bank of East Central Indiana. She can be reached at lrockhill@curehunger.org.)