Entertainment

Anderson Speedway: Night of Thrills

Palehorse — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 23:53:13 -0700

ANDERSON, IN - Anderson Speedway delivered on it's self entitled "Night of Thrills" Saturday night, with a pulse raising set of events that left many folks on the edge of their shakey wooden bleacher seating for a large course of the evening.

Events like the Outlaw figure 8's, corkscrew, and school bus figure 8's for both men and women, served to thrill the packed house.

Then we had the trailer figure 8 that was nothing short of dramatic; trucks and cars pulling trailers in a figure 8 with the object being to knock the trailer from the vehicle. The resulting chaos was enthralling and a real crowd pleaser! This event was followed by the rollover; vehicles were intentionally driven onto a ramp designed to roll the vehicle over, with points assigned for the number of rolls. Three attempts each.

The evening's events culminated with the demolition derby; a massive field of carnage not unlike navigating the Dan Ryan expressway in Chicago!

Here are a couple of pics. I apologize for the poor quality, but the venue's lighting negatively impacted my equipment. Combined with the low shutter settings necessary to get these pictures, the shaking bleachers served to mess things up a bit:

Bill Maher's Nasty Circus of the Stars

kpaul.mallasch — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 01:18:58 -0700

By Bill Steigerwald

As Bill Maher watched Roseanne Barr deliver her inane rant on the Sept. 12 "Real Time With Bill Maher," it looked -- for half a millisecond -- that he, too, realized what a fool she was making of herself.

But Maher, the caustic comedian and fake libertarian who Larry King thinks is a political pundit and Jonah Goldberg has called a ”libertine socialist,” let his beloved Roseanne babble on about how Gov. Sarah Palin was getting away with racist comments and how rich people who work for big corporations don't pay enough taxes.

Roseanne was a special guest on Episode 132 of Maher's HBO show -- which was re-run all last week until a fresh show appeared Sept. 19 -- because some people Maher knew were saying her life story was a lot like Gov. Palin's.

Roseanne, like Palin, was a working-class mother with lots of kids who came out of obscurity to become famous. And, Maher cracked, whereas Palin has an infant with special needs, Roseanne was once married to Tom Arnold.

That was one of the funnier lines in an often obnoxious, mean-spirited, politically lopsided talk-and-quip show whose anti-Palin/anti-Republican theme was broken only by the occasional Bush bashing or token Bill Clinton joke.

Maher's three guest panelists were comedian Janeane Garofalo, author Salman Rushdie and Wall Street Journal columnist John Fund. Paul Begala, the loyal Clintonista, appeared via satellite.

Maher was the alpha attack dog. Saying he was "officially frightened" by Palin's interview with Charlie Gibson, he called Palin "a Category 5 moron" and said it's unfair to compare pigs to Palin because pigs are smart and "don't believe in creationism."

Garofalo, ill-mannered and looking and acting strange, accused Fund of being dishonest and a sexist. She said George W. Bush didn't win the election of either 2000 or 2004, when "democracy was hacked." And she semi-joked that Republicans should be jailed for being in favor of things like torture and against "reproductive justice."

Rushdie's two-rupees' worth of commentary was mostly liberal boilerplate about Republican misrule, but at least he was adult and civilized.

Poor John Fund. He was beaten up for being smug (by Rushdie), for being a cynic (by Maher) and for being a liar (by Garofalo).

Fund defended Republicans and conservatives, even when they didn't deserve it. But he was interrupted long before he could explain to everyone that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were not stereotypical corporations but government-sponsored enterprises that were poorly regulated and wrecked by politicians of both parties.

Fund's nuances were not appreciated. The partisan gang-bang became so obviously unfair that as time was running out Maher, not known for having a conscience, gave Fund a tip of the hat for putting up a good fight against 4-1 odds. "So what?!" Garofalo shrieked.

Meanwhile, the studio audience, as usual, cheered wildly every time someone knocked Palin or McCain, praised Sen. Obama or said, as Garofalo so cogently did, that Democrats are fundamentally more "decent" than Republicans.

The unbalanced politics of Episode 132 -- not to mention its kindergarten level of discourse – was not atypical. It demonstrated why "Real Time" has become unwatchable for all non-liberals and libertarians or anyone who wants to hear more than a sentence or two of enlightening discussion or honest debate.

Maher has said his show’s first priority is not to achieve political fairness and balance but to provide adult, knowledgeable conversation. Episode 132 had little of either.

Republicans and President Bush deserve to be trashed from across the political spectrum for the many dumb and bad things they've done at home or abroad. It's also reasonable to question Palin's credentials or the decision to pick her.

But the Maher-Garofalo-Rushdie-Barr tag-team made fools of themselves. Nasty fools. And Episode 132 only accomplished what Maher's shows usually do -- validate every stereotype ever made about the simplistic politics, narrow minds and creepy values of Hollywood.

Bill Steigerwald is a columnist at the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. E-mail Bill at steigerwald@caglecartoons.com. ©Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, All Rights Reserved.

First Annual White River Balloon Fest

kpaul.mallasch — Sat, 2 Aug 2008 22:50:17 -0700

White River Balloon Fest Video at AFP:

Part 1 - The People - Interviews with some of the people at the Balloon Fest - includes guy on Segway, cute 48 hour old puppies, and the food - smells not included.
Part 2 - The Balloons - Little montage with one interview (I wish I would've had her spell her name - doing so many things you forget sometimes. In any case...) She was flying in memory of her husband, who she lost to cancer. The balloons going up was quite a sight.

White River Balloon Fest Photos at AFP:

AFP White River Balloon Fest Photo Gallery - Three hundred or so photos taken Saturday, August 2, 2008. A few are from the control tower at Anderson Airport. Another thanks to all the airport employees and all the volunteers.

Elsewhere on the web:

Hey, maybe you got some photos?

Did you attend? Take photos? Sign-up to become a member and add them or email to me at kpaul.mallasch@gmail.com and I'll help you get them online with credit or not.

Leave a comment about your experience if you went.

Muncie RibFest 2008 Schedule and Entertainment Lineup Announced

kpaul.mallasch — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 20:28:22 -0700

RibFest returns to Walnut Street in Historic Downtown Muncie Indiana on Saturday, August 2nd from noon to 10:00pm and Sunday, August 3rd, from 11:00am to 4pm.

This summer celebration continues to be one of Muncie's favorite Downtown events. 5,000 people who love to eat, two days, fabulous entertainment and great partners promise to make RibFest 2008 something you won't want to miss!

Admission $5.00, kids 10- and under free.

* For more info or to be a vendor CLICK HERE or please call: Cheryl Crowder @ 282-7897
* Sponsored by: Downtown Development Partnership, Muncie Sanitary District, Sam Pierce Chevrolet, WLBC, MAX and WERK

RIBFEST 2008 FEATURES:
* Kids activities, rock wall, inflatable games, games with prizes, and The Pumpkin Vine Express Train, sponsored by The Fickle Peach!
* 20 of Indiana's finest food Vendors...mmmmm... Finger Licking Good RIBS!
* Beer Gardens
* Arts and Craft Vendors
* Not-for Profit and Information Booths

22 fabulous bands on three stages!
Saturday evening Headliner: Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band

Classic, Hot Rod and Custom Cruise-In
Sponsored by Toys Forever Models and Hobbies
August 2- 6pm-10pm
August 3- 1pm-5pm

Entertainment Lineup for Saturday August 2nd Noon-10pm:

FM Music Stage
12-12:45- Nathan Fox Trio
1-1:45- Muncie Central Jazz Ensemble
2-2:45- 67 South Band
3-3:45- Nyx Redemption
4-4:45- Ruined for Life
5-5:45- Mike Martin Band
6-6:45-Mike Feeney
7-7:45-The Buzz
8-8:45-Chet O'Keefe and the Farmers Co-op
9-10:00- James Brown Car Alarm

Sam Piece Chevrolet Stage
12:30-1:15- Smoking Guns
1:30-2:15- Ryan Caudill and the Country Krossroads
3:00-3:45- Mud Eye Joe
4:00-4:45- The Spitshine
5:00-5:45- Joan Hamilton Band
6:00-6:45- Pray for Mojo
7:00-7:45- Dave Helms Band
8:15-10:00- Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band

Muncie Music Center Stage
12:15-1:15- Gordon Brook
1:30- 2:30- John Allen
2:45-4:00- Doc Peterson, Simmons and Dunn
4-4:45- Ancient Arts Dance Studio Belly Dancers
5:00-10:00- Dr. Feel Good Karaoke Contest- Elimination Round
Sponsored by Pete's Duck Inn, Texas Roadhouse, Oasis and Hinee's

Entertainment Lineup for Sunday August 3rd- 11am-4pm:

Sam Pierce Stage
11:15-12:15- Blues Funk Project
12:30-1:30- Morgan and Jason Duet
1:45-2:45- Jarheads
3:00-4:00- We're History Now

FM Music Stage
Final Rounds of Dr. Feel Good Karaoke Contest- Sponsored by Pete's Duck Inn, Texas Roadhouse, Oasis and Hinee's
$300 first prize
11-12 open karaoke 12- 4 Finals

Motorcycle Show
Sponsored by Delaware County ABATE
11-4pm

Source: MuncieDowntown.com

Family Owned Pizza Cafe Growing

kpaul.mallasch — Wed, 14 May 2008 05:26:11 -0700

ANDERSON, IN - Tommy J's Pizza Cafe, which opened on December 7, 2007, is planning to expand this summer according to Ben T. Jewell, one of the owners.

The restaurant, located on 1000 W. 3rd, has started work on an outdoor eating area in front of the restaurant. Business has been good so far according to Jewell, who runs the pizza cafe with his brother, Terry Poole, and father, Tom Jewell.

They're expecting to get their liquor license any day now and plan to offer beer and wine with lunch or dinner.

Plans go beyond that as well, with the family wanting to offer wine tasting and live entertainment on the only street in Anderson that runs straight through the city from North to South.

Ben's interest in authentic italian food began while he was working at The Pepperoni Grill in Bloomfield, IN. His father had a location and when Ben expressed interest, they put a plan together and opened.

Asked how Tommy J's was different than other pizza places in town, Ben answered, "We're family owned and operated and we use all fresh ingredients. We try to keep it low key and simple, giving good, authentic Italian food."

The outside cafe consists of a couple tables and chairs at the moment, but Ben said plans are in the works to construct a three foot fence around the eating area to cut down on the noise from traffic some while still allowing patrons to see through.

Also new this summer is ice cream on the menu.

According to Ben business has been great so far for them, with a lot of repeat customers.

If you're on that side of town, he welcomed people to check them out for lunch or dinner.

How Not to Honor St. Patrick

kpaul.mallasch — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 00:32:26 -0700

By Tom Purcell

Ah, St. Patrick's Day is upon us.

That means but one thing: time for Americans to over-celebrate the Irish tradition.

I speak of the goofy Leprechaun hats, the gaudy green buttons and scarves and the propensity to drink excessive amounts of alcohol at fake Irish pubs while trying to be authentically Irish.

Though I'm not entirely without guilt.

Eight years ago in a gentrified section of Washington, D.C., I visited a fake Irish pub a few weeks before St. Patrick's Day. My group included my cousin, my friends Bergen, Bell and Reid, and a woman we'd just met who bore a striking resemblance to Paula Jones (of the Clinton-era scandals).

Our efforts at pretending to be authentically Irish were going well until Bergen ordered up a fresh round of Guinness. That's when the disaster occurred.

"Paula Jones" was wearing a white sweater -- her favorite white sweater, which she'd paid $80 for at bebe's in Chicago. Bergen, in his eagerness to get at his Guinness, knocked a full pint of the oil-black brew onto what quickly become a chocolate-white sweater from bebe's in Chicago.

Having five sisters, I knew we had to get that sweater soaking in something or it would never see whiteness again. Bell ran off to get a bucket. I got the manager to supply a free Leprechaun T-shirt so our guest could change. My cousin trembled visibly, while Bergen was clearly saddened by the loss of his full pint.

Just as we managed to get our female guest dry, get her chocolate-white sweater soaking in soda water -- we set it on a table behind us -- and continue to pretend we were authentically Irish, all heck broke loose again.

Drug dealers, who had been openly plying their trade across the street -- we watched them through the window -- were suddenly the target of police, whose cars came roaring down the street from every direction.

So curious were we about this scene, we forgot about the sweater. Thus, we failed to notice that the busboy had picked up the bucket in which the sweater was soaking and proceeded to fill it with dirty glasses, silverware, greasy napkins, etc.

Thankfully, my cousin saw him and began shouting. This headed off the busboy's subsequent actions, which would have involved the swabbing of dirty tables with an $80 chocolate-white sweater from bebe's in Chicago.

There was no time to savor our success, however, as another crisis was under way. Our female guest was suddenly overcome by itchiness, an affliction, apparently, that results when Guinness dries on the skin. (Sunburn she'd received during a recent vacation had also contributed to her malady.)

So loudly did she complain -- she had passed through "denial" and was well on her way to "anger" -- that our efforts at pretending we were authentically Irish were in jeopardy yet again.

I quickly began searching the pub for mayonnaise, which, I'd thought, would remedy her itching. I didn't realize until afterward that my reasoning had been muddled by an abundance of Guinness and my hopes of rubbing mayonnaise all over her skin had more to do with my needs than hers.

It was about then that the cook came running out of the kitchen, shouting about shots being fired in the alley. Our group had had enough. We rose in unison, grabbed our sweater bucket, hailed a cab and got the heck out of there.

The Irish celebrate St. Patrick's Day in a more dignified manner than Americans do. Most people go to Mass, take in a parade, then enjoy the rest of the day with family -- they don't get out of hand the way we do.

It is true that one out of four Americans can trace his heritage back to the rolling green hills of Ireland, but do we have to mock our fine heritage by wearing gaudy hats and scarves, getting rip-roaring drunk and singing supposed Irish tunes, such as "The Unicorn Song"?

"The Unicorn Song" illustrates my point perfectly. It was written by Shel Silverstein. He was Jewish.

©2008 Tom Purcell. Tom is a humor columnist nationally syndicated exclusively by Cagle Cartoons. Visit him on the web at www.TomPurcell.com or e-mail him at Purcell@caglecartoons.com.

Wooing the Modern Male

kpaul.mallasch — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 21:57:35 -0800

By Tom Purcell

With Valentine's Day upon us, female readers have been pummeling me with questions on how to woo the modern male.

Dear Tom, My boyfriend's hair treatment, skin conditioner, perfume bottles and other toiletries take up so much room in my bathroom I have no place to put my stuff, and he doesn't even live here. What should I do?

— No Space

Dear No Space, You're going to have to get a new apartment with "her-her" bathrooms. Be sure there's plenty of light, so your fellow can see what he's doing. You wouldn't want his "guyliner" to get all runny.

Dear Tom, It's not as though I expect my boyfriend to open the door for me, and he never does, but whatever happened to chivalry?

— Disappointed

Dear Disappointed, Chivalry is a concept that dates back to medieval times, when men lived by codes of honor, virtue and sacrifice. Chivalry demanded that men be gracious, gentle and respectful toward women. Chivalry is all about selflessness and romantic love, whereas your boyfriend is all about selfishness and self-love.

Dear Tom, I'm not a prude, nor do I think we should return to the rigid ways of the past, but sometimes I think it would be nice to court and date the way men and women did in the old movies. What do you think?

— Dreamer

Dear Dreamer, Unfortunately, that's not possible. For 30 years or more, we've pretended such differences don't exist. And it is only when the two truly opposite forces called man and woman collide that sparks will fly and romance will occur.

Dear Tom, I met a new fellow who proudly defines himself as a sensitive new-age male. What exactly is that?

— Wondering

Dear Wondering, This is the kind of fellow who is so in touch with his emotions and needs he doesn't notice anybody else's -- especially yours. If he drinks a beer for instance, it will be an exotic brand from some remote part of the planet. He won't drink from of a mug, either, but a wine glass. At baby showers -- yes, men are invited to those now -- he'll get misty.

Dear Tom, Call me a nut, but I saw a John Wayne movie the other day and I would love to meet a man as stoic, confident, modest and manly as he was. Where can I find such a fellow?

— Digging the Duke

Dear Digging the Duke, The good news is, there are still plenty of such men around. The bad news is, they're old. The older generations produced an abundance of simple men who spent their time building a country and providing for their families, not picking out shirts and hair goop at the mall.

Dear Tom, I read on the HistoryChannel.com that one of the theories about St. Valentine is that he was a priest who was killed for defying a Roman emperor. Do you know that story?

— Curious

Dear Curious, Yes, Emperor Claudius II felt that single men made better soldiers than married men, so he outlawed marriage. St. Valentine put the love of young couples ahead of his own life and married them anyway. He was imprisoned and then killed. Such selflessness and sacrifice is what Valentine's Day is really about.

Dear Tom, With Valentine's Day just around the corner, I'm very sad. My boyfriend never cleans our place, never cooks, never does the laundry. He never takes me out and never buys me flowers. He quit his job and I pay all the bills. Do you think he'll propose to me this Valentine's Day?

— Waiting

Dear Waiting, Surely you know the answer to your question. By the way, do you have any sisters?

Dear Tom, I'm dying for romance of any kind. Since we women can't count on men to be genuinely romantic anymore, can't we step it up? What's wrong with us holding the door open for a man on a date? Why can't we pick up the tab?

— Progressive

Dear Progressive, Sounds good to me! Why don't you pick me up around 8 p.m.?

Tom Purcell is a humor columnist nationally syndicated exclusively by Cagle Cartoons. For comments to Tom, please email him at Purcell@caglecartoons.com.

Makeup for Men

kpaul.mallasch — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 01:51:50 -0800

By Tom Purcell

Ah, the holiday season is upon us. So what to get for the modern man who has everything?

Makeup.

According to The Washington Post, eyeliner -- the fellows who wear it call it "guyliner," the twits -- is the latest trend in "boys behaving girly."

As it goes, Pete Wentz, the pretty-boy bassist for pop-punk band Fall Out Boy, has become the guru of guyliner. The high-fashion fellow recently explained the proper way for males to apply the stuff.

"Smear it because when you're a guy, you don't really want your makeup to look perfect," he says.

Of course. It's not like you'd want to look like a woman or anything.

Men are buying all kinds of cosmetic gunk now: wrinkle-control lotions, shine-reduction powder, clay masks, body-sculpting gel for the abs. According to Euromonitor International, the male makeup market

But don't accuse makeup-wearing men of being metrosexuals. They're not metrosexuals anymore. They're Ubersexuals.

Tom Purcell

According to askmen.com, "Ubersexual" is derived from the German "uber," which means "the greatest." The term was coined by advertising giant JWT. Three JWT executives introduced the term in "The Future of Men," a marketing book that explains how to tap the changing identities of the sexes to make corporate dough.

"Ubersexuals are the most attractive (not just physically), most dynamic, and most compelling men of their generations," says Marian Salzman, a JWT executive who co-authored the book. "They are confident, masculine, stylish and committed to uncompromising quality in all areas of life."

And they wear makeup.

Take Dustin Schaad, a 22-year-old fellow from Silver Spring, Md. According to the Post, he started wearing makeup in high school because "a little concealer goes a long way when you hit puberty."

My friend, the only thing you've been concealing is your Y chromosome.

Look, men, we've got to get hold of ourselves. It was bad enough when male magazines began running headlines from female magazines: "How to Trim that Belly to Improve Your Self-Esteem and Make Her Happy."

It was bad enough when men began getting face wraps and pedicures. It was even worse when men started carrying purses.

But makeup? Enough is enough.

Men, the marketers are pushing the fiction that the modern male has evolved to a point where he can be manly AND wear makeup. They are doing so because there's big dough in it.

But it's nonsense.

What men and women are is not so complicated. We are more primitive than we think we are -- our DNA was designed to help us survive our early days, and there's no escaping that fact.

We no longer need adrenaline in our systems, but our predecessors needed it to survive. You better be able to fight or run fast when a prehistoric creature is about to have you for supper.

Michael Gurian, author of "What Could He Be Thinking? How a Man's Mind Really Works," says survival was the reason the male and female minds evolved as they did. The male mind was geared toward open spaces (the ability to track animals), whereas the female mind was designed to multitask (the ability to manage numerous details that kept the family alive).

And though we no longer need many of the instincts and impulses that are built into our DNA, the unpleasant fact is they are still there. The unpleasant fact is that the game of mating is still rooted in our basic primitive makeup.

Thus, in a general sense, women are still attracted to masculine men who can go out into the fields and kill dinner. And men, generally, are still drawn to young, healthy, feminine women.

Thus, women used to doll themselves up with paints and perfumes to attract men. And we used to chase them -- until they caught us. We can pretend otherwise, but human DNA isn't so advanced as we'd like it to be. That's why women wear makeup and men don't.

In any event, please get your modern man something else for Christmas this year.

Tom Purcell is a humor columnist nationally syndicated exclusively by Cagle Cartoons. For comments to Tom, please email him at Purcell@caglecartoons.com.